'Where They're At' was sent as part of 📝The Journey To One on March 14, 2019.
Newsletter
Hey Legend,
Last week, 📝Be The Light (newsletter) spoke of 📝kindness as a form of light.
Light can carry intention, however, recent conversations prompted a reminder that no matter how good the intentions, light cannot carry expectations.
As much as we might try, we cannot control 📝how the light we shine creates growth in the people we shine it upon. We can, however, improve our odds.
Unlike our sun, we can choose where we shine and—with practice—we can control the intensity of our brightness. As my roommate—a fiddle leaf fig tree named 📝Marcus—recently reminded me, too much direct sunlight can be harmful; the same can be true for kindness.
Sometimes you have to dim your light to avoid burning the retinas of those in the dark. You cannot extract someone from dark, they must leave it.
One such master of modulation is Dr. 📝Mark Goulston; an accomplished psychiatrist, author, and speaker. He has been named one of America's Top Psychiatrists three times, authored seven books (selling 400k+ copies), appeared on Oprah, CNN, The Today Show, PBS, etc., and spoken at—or consulted for—organizations like Disney, Cisco, IBM, FedEx, LinkedIn, etc.
After decades of therapy with suicidal patients, Mark has become a powerful advocate in the fight against that hidden darkness. When we made 📝Table Talk a few weeks ago, he shared an intense story of personal discovery and the compelling lesson it granted him. It's a worthwhile six minute listen.
Put simply, if you want your light to have a better chance at supporting growth, you'll have to 📝Meet Them Where They're At. Even when that means going into the darkness to find them... and staying until they're ready to leave.
The same holds true outside of a psychiatric practice.
Whether in the context of a romantic partnership or the prompting of an internet goer download your epic app, kindness still requires consent.
Digital consent is a topic I've been exploring for some time and I'm only now realizing it's something I've written very little about; the closest being an article about the safe-for-work 'Negotiation Tactics Learned From BDSM'.
I'm curious to hear your questions and reflections. Where has the acquisition of permission helped you to communicate more effectively? When were times that your expectations creeped in and caused conflict? How do you feel now?
📝Build cool shit and change the world.
📝Brian Swichkow, 📝Manifestor at 📝Mythos One
Sent with 📝Contextual Augmentation.
Afterthoughts
"If we really think very highly of a person, we should conceal it from him like a crime. This is not a very gratifying thing to do, but it is right. Why, a dog will not bear being treated too kindly, let alone a man!" ~ Arthur Schopenhauer, Counsels and Maxims