My "No Dating PhDs" Rule was born after watching my PhD friend obsess over perfection when his trading algorithm was attracting hedge funds and venture capitalists willing to throw money at him with absolutely zero strings attached. He insisted it needed further tweaking despite their willingness to give him money to work with. He went on to complete his PhD and fail in business for several years before he started to escape what I saw as the mental prison of the academic institution. Watching him obsess over perfection and fight for the approval of people who didn’t care about him or want to see him succeed made me shy away from the prospect of dating academics in the future. That became my one hard rule in dating.
In 2019, I invited a cute girl from 📝Symposium over for dinner. Neither of us knew whether it was a date, but I probably felt less threatened by the prospect because she was a PhD student and I knew I was unlikely to find resonance.
Five years, 📝My First Marriage, and 📝My First Divorce later, I can admit that ignoring my own rule came with its own lessons—ones I might have sidestepped had I followed my initial instinct.