'Spoken With Kindness' was sent as part of 📝The Journey To One on February 27, 2019.
Newsletter
Hey Legend,
In my experience, I've found that dating—like many things—is best viewed as 📝A Process, Not An Activity; a date is an 📝activity, dating is a 📝process. As a process, objectives are reached through gradual changes; a comforting notion in the inevitable moments of discomfort... like the one I'll share now.
Finding Similar Frequency
Some weeks back, a promising connection emerged from 📝Hinge, a dating app. Almost instantly, we found deep, creative and philosophical, 📝resonance. Both immersed in projects, it was necessary that we schedule our first date a week in advance, still, the conversation continued.
Without a feel for how another person communicates, pre-date textual relations can often shatter the potential for romance. Despite this, our conversation felt effortless. We sent daily volleys of full-page, text messages—some even prompting the consumption of long articles and entire documentaries. Days of discourse went by in an instant and the resonance was pleasantly persistent.
When the day of our date finally arrived, she remarked of a subtle anxiety that the magic of our digital dialogue had set a challenging expectation for our upcoming encounter. "Who knows what comes next," she continued, "but I appreciate this exchange already."
The rainy day adventure began as a cozy, cafe chat where we explored the creative inclinations of the other. Then, while wandering the aisles at 📝The Last Bookstore, we shared our stories and inspirations. This movement made way for hunger and, over sushi, we spoke of family and other foundations. We finally parted ways with a warm hug just as the sun peeked from the clouds.
Acknowledging Different Vibration
I share this story—in such detail—to convey the gravity of her 📝"I Have Been Thinking!" Text; sent just a few days prior to our second date.
In 📝her message, she reflected my feeling of resonance and, with it, an absence of romance. While a friendship wasn't an objective either of us joined a dating app to pursue, she had spoken her truth with kindness—and it was heard.
Receiving her text prompted a deep sigh, but it still felt right. After all, it was her authenticity and kindness that had won me over in the first place.
Familiar Operating Energy
"For a truth to be heard, it must be 📝Spoken With Kindness." ~ Thoreau
My discovery of Thoreau's remark—days after receiving her consent to write about our texts—reminded me of something 📝Erik Huberman, the founder of 📝Hawke Media, shared when he visited my 📝Conversation Studio.
When prompted to speak of his 📝Operating From Kindness he said, "you just do [the right thing for the right reasons] and you build a reputation for it. Then, eventually, you can talk about it." Hawke's demonstration of this, over just four years, has enabled them to grow into a 150-person, $15m+ marketing agency; their brand woven into the very fabric of startup culture in Los Angeles.
While the power of kindness can seem obvious in hindsight, we often find ourselves racing to react to the next match or message and leave notions of empathy behind in the process. This behavior has been identified by scientists, and those who created it, to be a result of 📝Authoritarian Technologies; those which have co-opted our need for human connection, and our desire for convenience, in the pursuit of their technological and corporate dominance.
Resonance of Truth
Neither the technologies, nor the organizations that made them, are evil.
Rather, it is how we have relinquished our agency to them which has resulted in this disconnection from each other. Beyond regulation, we must learn to use them more consciously; and we must re-learn the empathy we have lost.
To that end, 📝Ryan Holiday—and several friends—had recommended that I read 📝Robert Greene's newest book, 📝The Laws of Human Nature. Diving into the audiobook last night, the illuminating and immensely compelling introduction—read by the author—prompted a familiar anxiety; that the magic which preceded the book could not be surpassed by the meaning in its pages.
Whether it is approaching a relationship with a person or a book, the key to being pleasantly surprised is to be purposefully un-expecting. And, since that which is most cliche is often the most true, I'll be more cliche in the hopes of being more true... live in presence, speak with kindness, and love without restraint... even if it's a strictly platonic kind of affection.
Just as my date shared in anticipation of our adventure... who knows what comes next, but I appreciate this exchange already. Thanks for being present in the 📝Journey to One. You make every day my 📝Best Day Ever.
Comment or click to participate; both show me where to create next. And, if you'd like to hear from me more often, you can shift our frequency here.
📝Build cool shit and change the world.
📝Brian Swichkow, 📝Manifestor at 📝Mythos One
Sent with 📝Contextual Augmentation.