Fork this memo and complete it with a partner to negotiate a connection using 📝ANCHOR — a framework for 📝sovereign relating across six domains. You each speak your piece for every domain, in turn. One rule for phrasing: start every line with "I" — "I hold…," "I ask…," "I want…," "I don't…" — so each of you owns your own experience rather than directing the other's. To sharpen further, the optional four-category 📝Grammar of Sovereign Relating names each line as a need, boundary, request, or desire — but you never need it to begin.

To run it aloud: "Let's ANCHOR. Six things, and we each take a turn: what's mine to hold, what this is, what we're making, health and safety, who else is in our lives, and how we come back. Start your sentences with 'I.' You go first."

Fill your side, invite your partner to fill theirs, date it, and revisit as the connection evolves.

This covenant

• Between: {{You}} and {{Partner}}
• We name this connection: {{e.g., romantic · play · nesting · creative}}
• Established: {{date}} · Revisit: {{cadence}}

A — Anchor

What is mine to hold — your sovereignty and self-responsibility: what stays yours, and how you hold your own regulation. e.g. "I hold my own rest and time; I commit from desire, not guilt."

• You:
• Them:

N — Narrative

What this is, and is not — the intention, direction, and name of the connection. e.g. "I see this as friendship and play, not a merger."

• You:
• Them:

C — Co-creation

What we make together — the play you want: erotic, intellectual, creative. e.g. "I want dates, scenes, and creative collaboration where everyone is met with care."

• You:
• Them:

H — Health

Bodies, safety, and limits — safewords, somatic limits, and full sexual-health disclosure. e.g. "I use green / yellow / red; last tested {{date}}; my hard limits are {{…}}."

• You:
• Them:

O — Others

Who else is in our lives — existing partners, metamours, transparency, and any shared-cost or material agreements. e.g. "My partners are {{…}}; I ask for prompt notice of new fluid bonding; we split shared costs by {{…}}."

• You:
• Them:

R — Repair

How we come back — aftercare, and how you tend rupture and transition. e.g. "I need {{aftercare}}; when we rupture I ask that we name it and repair rather than go silent."

• You:
• Them:

Contexts

• 🏷️#anchor-framework