DIBS is a four-part conversational framework — Desire, Intention, Boundaries, and Sexuality/STI — used as a pre-intimacy check-in, particularly within 📝Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) communities.
Similar to 📝BDSMR, DIBS provides a structured container for the conversations that conscious relating demands before physical intimacy. Desire surfaces what each person wants from the encounter. Intention clarifies the emotional or relational purpose behind the connection — whether it's exploration, deepening a bond, or purely physical. Boundaries establishes limits and hard stops. Sexuality/STI covers sexual health status, recent testing, and safer-sex practices.
Where BDSMR adds Meaning and Relationships as distinct categories, DIBS folds relational context into Intention, making it a slightly more compact framework. Both serve the same core function: replacing assumptions with explicit communication. The choice between them often comes down to personal preference or community norms. Some practitioners use DIBS for more casual encounters where the lighter structure feels proportionate, reserving the fuller BDSMR checklist for connections with greater emotional depth or complexity.