The Funeral DesignExercise was a brief 1h30-minute experience facilitated by ritual designer Tiu de Haan at the College of Extraordinary Experiences.

The intention is to help your loved ones know what is important to you (and what is not) by leaving them a guide of your wishes and desires.

Prompts

The Big Questions

• Why do you need or want a ritual?

• What is the most important thing?

• How will you know if it's a success?

• What help will you need to make this project happen?

Timeline

• How will it Begin?

• How will it End?

Sensory:

• What will people See?

  • What is the dress code?

  • Will they see the coffin?

  • Will it be open? Closed?

  • What objects will there be?

    • Photographs? Flowers? Open Sky? Chapel? Video? Photographs? Altar?

  • What will people Hear?

    • Music? Poetry? Tribute? Eulogy? Story of your life enacted by others? Singing? Live Music? Complete silence?

    • What Languages will it be in?

  • What will they Smell?

    • Fire? Incense? Flowers? Signature Scent? Food?

  • What will they Taste?

    • Snacks? Food? Wine? Apple cider?

  • What will they Touch?

    • Group hugs? Fabrics? Objects?

  • What is the Energy?

    • Solemn? Emotional? Joyous?

Body:

• Will you be cremated? Buried? Composted? Donated to Science?

• What type of Coffin would you want?

  • Fabric? Cardboard? Wood?

  • What are you taking with you inside the coffin?

  • What do you want to do with your ashes?

  • Scattered? Diluted? Transformed into a diamond? Coral reef? Tree? Placed in a firework? Blown into glass? Tattooed?

Energetics:

• Who are they as they enter the ceremony?

• How are they different as they exit the experience.

Logistics:

• Will it be public? Private? Half/half? What about the Memorial?

• Will there be Documentation? Photos? Video?

• Will it be repeated? Every year?

• Where will it be?

• What do you want

Roles and Responsibilities:

• Who will lead the ceremony?

  • Note: It's better to hire a professional celebrant.

• Who will write the eulogy?

• Who will carry the coffin?

• What roles will the children have?

• Who is responsible for the invite list?

References:

1. College of Extraordinary Experiences Recap 2023

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